Out of Focus
by JamminGirl90
Summary: Sofia can't seem to get her life back in focus after Paris. Maybe clearing her guilty conscience will help. Maybe not. Rated for strong language.


_*This is my sad attempt at a For Lovers Only post-fic. While I loved the movie, I just couldn't get this scene out of my head. So, here it is. Happy Reading!_

_Disclaimer: *checks self in mirror* Nope, not a Polish brother. _

(Sofia)

She can't remember a time when her life felt so off balance. Yves' letter left her reeling and confused and heartbroken and giddily happy all at the same time. But everything still feels wrong.

The guilt has been gnawing at her since David surprised her at the airport with flowers and a kiss. She almost cried on the spot. It's the sweetest thing he's ever done for her, but it only made her feel that much worse. Kissing her husband shouldn't make her feel like she's betraying Yves and herself. But it does.

She's been unnaturally quiet and she knows David's noticed. But he hasn't pushed. He's being so good to her, so thoughtful. That's what gives her pause. She never really wanted to hurt him.

She sits in the bathtub for God knows how long one night, tracing his name on her thigh until the water goes cold. A single tear winds its way down her cheek, and she knows. She has to tell him tonight.

She pulls on a bathrobe without bothering to dry off and pads down the hall to their bedroom. He's in bed reading, glasses perched on his nose. He doesn't notice her at first, so she clears her throat. He looks up with a soft smile that she tries to return.

"Hey," she starts, "can we talk?"

His expression of happy disbelief makes her gut clench. Fuck. He thinks this is going to be good.

"Yeah, of course," he responds eagerly. He sets his book down, turning his full attention on her. "What's up?"

She looks down, blinking back tears. "There's something I have to tell you," she manages. "Um, the reason I was in France for so long is that...I was having an affair."

The silence is suffocating. She twists her wedding band on her finger nervously, finally gathers up the courage to look at David.

He looks calm. Sad, but calm. "I'm guessing that photographer wasn't just some random guy then," he says.

She shakes her head, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. "His name is Yves," she whispers. "We were together once, a long time ago." She sniffles. "We couldn't make it work then, and we couldn't make it work now."

"But you love him." David slides off the bed, joins her on the floor.

"Doesn't fucking matter," she says, shocking herself. Maybe his letter left her a little bitter too. "But yeah."

"He married too?" David asks. There's no malice in his voice. She's grateful. She doesn't deserve this kindness.

She nods. "With a kid," she adds. "I didn't know about her at first," she confesses. "I was all set to dive right back into it with him, but then I heard him talking on the phone to his kid." She sighs. "Reality's a bitch."

David nods in agreement. The silence is lighter now. Easier. "Where do we go from here?" he asks eventually.

She slips her ring off and offers it to him. "I think you know," she murmurs. "I think we've both known for a while. We were just too scared to admit it."

"Or too stubborn," he remarks and they both manage to laugh a little.

"That too," she concedes. There's a pause. "You deserve to be happy, David. You deserve to be with someone that makes you happy and isn't constantly hurting you."

He takes the hand that's still holding out her ring. "You deserve to be happy too, Sof."

She's shaking her head instantaneously. "No I don't," she argues. "Not after all the shit I've put you through. Not after everything I've done. You have every right to hate me, David, but for some reason you don't. But even if you did, it would be nothing compared to how much I hate myself right now."

He moves closer, takes her face in his hands. "Stop it, Sofia," he commands. "Nobody ever deserves to be hated. Least of all, you." He kisses her softly, and she feels him put all of his love for her into it. It's not enough. She wishes it could be.

David pulls away, a resigned smile on his face. "I'll call my lawyer in the morning, okay?"

"Okay," she whispers, nodding. She moves to stand up and her robe shifts, revealing the tattoo. She doesn't stop him as he brushes his fingers over the ink.

"You gonna get that removed?" he asks. "Cover it up?"

She considers this for a few minutes. "No," she finally decides. "It's a part of me. Like you...Yves." She shrugs. "And if the next guy I'm with doesn't like it, he can fuck off."

That earns her a full on belly laugh. She giggles too, but the thought of being with someone else? It still makes her insides churn. He must notice a change in her expression because he takes her hand and squeezes it.

"You'll be okay," he tells her. "You'll find the happiness you deserve, Sofia. I promise."

His optimism almost has her convinced that he's right. The tiny inkling of hope is buried by her pain and guilt for now, but it's there. She takes a breath and her world shifts a little bit more into focus.


End file.
